It is always difficult if someone has died in the family, and even more so, when it is just days, weeks or even months before a wedding ceremony. Chat with your celebrant about how the memory of your loved one can be included whether it be in a subtle manner through a candle being lit or a photograph near the signing table or at the entry point of the aisle or even placed on a chair where they may have taken up position had they been there. It’s also worth considering discussing this with other members of the family because it is important so that no-one gets a real shock when they hear the deceased's name.

If it is someone really close like a parent or grandparent, then maybe there is a lovely quote they may have used, or offered some advice, or you can just choose to mention them during the speeches when most people are a little more relaxed and the sadness won’t cast a shadow over the ceremony.

On one occasion my bride lost her father just a day earlier, she was amazingly stoic and decided to continue on as there were people coming from overseas and interstate – I personally don’t think the shock had really set in – we opted for a candle to be lit as she walked down the aisle and it remained lit for the ceremony and throughout the reception.

What was important in this instance was to find the balance of being able to enjoy the day without the bride feeling guilty about being happy yet still mourning the loss of her father.:

There are many ways to remember those important people in our lives who cannot be with us in person; my own daughter-in-law attached thumbnail sized pictures to her bouquet of grandparents that had been lost to us.

There is a time and a place for dedication and finding the balance can go either way. Weddings are a time for happiness, time for reflection and a time for sharing so providing the memories of loved ones is respected with delicacy and respect, then it doesn’t have to overshadow the celebration of two people’s commitments to each other.